The Moment of Slash
by yaoifangirlHolly
Summary: Another humourous recap done by moi, this one of episode 10. sorry for all the gayness again, but this is the gayest episode of series 1 in my opinion. I'll do some less slashy ones soonish.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. The BBC do.**

**Story: My humorous recap of series 1 episode 10 – "The Moment of Truth".**

So, the episode opens with a gay little spanning of a happy village, well it was before Mr Mean Kanen showed up, who by the way, for all you fellow Trek fans out there, is played by Alexander Siddig, who played the mucho sexy Doctor Bashir in DSN.

Then, suddenly a band of men ride in on horses, and we presume them to be scary cause everyone is running away. A woman steps out of her house, and if you're a true geek, the first time you watched this episode, you will have twigged her as Merlin's mother, Hunith. A man is dragged out and thrown to the ground.

KALEN: *evil, theatrical* It's harvest time! What's this? Where's the rest of it?

MAN: I only kept back what we need to survive!

KALEN: Oh, boo hoo. I'll be back, and I want more tasty vegetables!

HUNITH: *runs forward* You can't take our food! Our children will starve! You're not taking any of it!

KALEN: If this were a more mature show I'd rape you, but since it isn't I'll settle for a good slap! *slaps her to the ground*

A man runs forward to help her and is shot to the ground with an arrow by the dastardly Kanen. So Hunith goes to her son for help, now he's living it up in Camelot.

MERLIN: Mother? What happened? Who did this to you?

And the opening credits go up, while we all smile at how lovely Merlin is and how sweet he is to his mother! He's got to be gay...

HUNITH: *long, deeply moving and heartrending speech about her situation* - We barely have enough food as it is, and if Kanen takes our harvest, our children won't live to see another summer.

MORGANA AND GWEN: *look deeply sympathetic*

UTHER: Due to a geographic technicality, I'm not allowed to help you, sorry lady.

HUNITH: I know you're a good king, a caring man.

MERLIN: Is she getting him mixed up with another king?

UTHER: Sorry, no can do.

MORGANA: *death glare at Uther before stepping over to help Hunith away*

The scene changes to where Arthur is looking out at Camelot on a turret-y type thing. Merlin goes over to him.

ARTHUR: I'm sorry. If it were up to me we'd be on our way there now. It's just my father, he's an asshole.

MERLIN: Well, you tried. Thank you.

ARTHUR: I wish that Camelot was able to help people regardless of where they lived. Cause I'm a nice person.

MERLIN: *pause indicating his difficulty in telling his lover* I'm going back to Ealdor.

Heartrending music starts up around now...obviously someone is trying to tell us that Merlin loves Arthur!

MERLIN: It's been an honour serving you, my prince.

ARTHUR: *frown* You're coming back, right?

MERLIN: She's my mother. I've got to look after her before anyone else. (i.e. before Arthur) You understand?

ARTHUR: I'd do exactly the same. If I had a nice mother instead of an asshole father. Well...you've been terrible. Really, I mean it. The worse servant I've ever had.

MERLIN: *gorgeous smile* Thank you sire. *about to leave before things get too emotional*

ARTHUR: Merlin, wait. Good luck.

Scene change to which Merlin is packing, and Gwen and Morgana reveal they're coming too.

GWEN: Here. *hands him a sword*

MERLIN: Yeah, it's good, it's very...um, swordy.

GWEN: ...Yeah. I packed some armour for you, you nonce.

MERLIN: I can't carry all that! I'm just one weedy boy!

MORGANA: *arrives in sexy shirt/belt outfit* We're coming too. We owe you.

Brief scene with Gaius fussing like a mother hen over Merlin, and then the three set off into the woods on their lovely horses. Nightfall comes, and Hunith worries about them.

HUNITH: They shouldn't be here, especially the Lady Morgana. She's the king's ward, those are pretty hard to replace! And it won't make any difference to Kanen that they're women. He likes to slap them around especially, in fact.

MERLIN: *raises his finger to her black eye, then drops it* I'm going to make him pay for what he did to you.

HUNTIH: Be careful! No one can find out about you... (read this how you will)

MERLIN: They won't. They never do, even though it's so bloody obvious!

Then, Merlin, the adorable guy he is, uses his magic to make a dragon out of fire embers. What a sweetie. He tries to sleep, though fidgets as much in bed as I do, so isn't successful. He thinks he hears a noise, so unsheathes his sword and goes to check it out, when he feels a sword in his back.

VOICE: I'd ask you for money...but I know you don't have any.

MERLIN: *whirls around in a clumsy manner and smiles happily* Arthur!

ARTHUR: Put the sword down Merlin, you look ridiculous.

MERLIN: *runs like one happy little puppy after Arthur*

And so ensues what should hereafter be known as "The awkward scene in front of the fire".

ARTHUR: You should get some rest, it's going to be a long day tomorrow.

MERLIN: That's real sweet of you. Thank you. Um, I know you didn't have to come.

ARTHUR: *very embarrassed* Get some sleep.

MERLIN: *nods and continues fidgeting awkwardly with his hands*

Come daybreak, the four, plus Merlin's mother, continue on to Ealdor, and arrive just in time to fight them off, though of course, Kanen swears he will be back again, in traditional bad guy style. Morgana kicks ass here, also. GIRL POWER!

BOY: You still up to the same old magic tricks again? I thought I told you we didn't want your kind round here.

*tantalising pause*

BOY: *smiles*

MERLIN: I missed you too Will.

They hug it out. Arthur's probably pulling a jealous face in the background.

WILL: I hear you're skivvying for some prince.

MERLIN: I'm more Arthur's bitch than his skivvy, to be precise.

ARTHUR: Merlin! Gather up the villagers! I want to tell them what to do like I do to you!

MERLIN: *scampers off*

So Arthur finds himself a good spot for some oration. No that's not rude, it just sounds like it is.

ARTHUR: I know Kanen's kind, though I'm not going to elaborate on that, conveniently for the BBC. We need to prepare.

WILL: *knows that Arthur is Merlin's new boyfriend so decides to cause trouble* Who the hell are you, Mr. Pretty Blonde Prince?

ARTHUR: I'm Prince Arthur of Camelot.

WILL: You've messed everything up! Kanen will be back for revenge!

ARTHUR: What would you have us do?

WILL: *didn't think it through* Um, just give Kanen what he wants?

ARTHUR: *buzzer* Wrong answer!

WILL: You just want the honour and glory of battle! That's what drives men like you!

ARTHUR: You just met me! How the hell do you know me so well?

WILL: *storms off*

MERLIN: *goes after his ex boyfriend*

VILLAGERS: We'll go out fighting!

MERLIN: When I first met Arthur, I hated him too. But now...I love him.

WILL: How could you leave me for a prince? Why are you defending him so much?

MERLIN: Hello, read between the lines? I love him! I trust Arthur with my life!

WILL: You're Arthur's servant, nothing more. Otherwise, you'd tell him.

Come nightfall again, and Merlin and Arthur are sleeping top to tail. But first they'll have another cute conversation!

MERLIN: Yeah, I'm a poor country boy. I slept on the floor. But life's simple out here.

ARTHUR: Sounds...lovely...

MERLIN: You'd hate it.

ARTHUR: No doubt. So why'd you leave?

MERLIN: I broke up with my boyfriend Will...and things got complicated.

ARTHUR: Stop being all mysterious and tell me *sticks his foot in Merlin's face*

MERLIN: *paws it away in adorable manner* I just didn't fit in anymore. I'm a poor, misunderstood, gorgeous emo boy. I wanted to find somewhere that I did.

ARTHUR: Had any luck? (so obviously wanting Merlin to say he fits in with Arthur).

Next morning, Merlin is dressing Arthur (like wife dresses husband).

MORGANA: You still not learned how to dress yourself.

ARTHUR: Obviously I have. I just prefer it when Merlin does it.

HUNITH: Prince Arthur, you didn't finish your breakfast.

ARTHUR: I prefer my royal banquet to this bland slop. But I'll take a bite to be polite. *shoves the bowl at Gwen*

GWEN: *eats it herself before handing it to Hunith* Arthur said it was lovely. He'll need a lot of strength if he's with Merlin, those two really wear each other out...

Gwen leaves, leaving Merlin alone with his mother briefly.

HUNITH: He must care for you a great deal.

MERLIN: Mum, have you met the slash dragon or something? Anyway, Arthur would do the same for anyone.

HUNITH: It's more than that. He's here for you, Merlin.

MERLIN: I know. But I'm just his servant.

HUNITH: He likes you.

MERLIN: Mum, do you want me to ask him out? Will that make you happy?

After that embarrassing conversation with his mother, Merlin makes his way to chop down some trees, but Will appears, forcing him into another dissecting of emotions conversation. Oy, life is so difficult.

MERLIN: Why are you being like this? (the single gayest thing Merlin has ever said by far, in my opinion)

WILL: You know why. Why did you leave?

*serious angst with these guys*

MERLIN: I had to, after Mum walked in on us together. Oh, and you found out about my magic too.

WILL: You could totally kick Kanen's skinny ass on your own, couldn't you?

MERLIN: Not sure, maybe. I haven't tested my prowess yet.

WILL: Then why don't you?

MERLIN: It's not that simple, don't you understand?

WILL: No, I don't. *storms off*

So, Arthur teaches the villagers some basic practice skills for fighting. Gwen and Morgana have been wearing trousers for too long in this episode evidently, for they get jealous of the men fighting with sticks and want to join in (some kind of penis envy...?) Arthur refuses at first.

Nightfall comes again, and this time we get a Gwen/Morgana late night conversation, for some variety. Merlin overhears it (must be a light sleeper)

GWEN: Why do you think Arthur came here?

MORGANA: The same reason we did. Merlin. Arthur may act like he doesn't care...but that's just his princely front Uther taught him to put on.

Morning again, and Matthew, the bearded guy on sentry duty, has been killed by an arrow with a note attached from Kanen (how thoughtful...not). Will of course, uses this as an opportunity to stick the knife in and make poor Arthur, who is only trying to do the right thing, feel all worried.

WILL: You did this!

ARTHUR: *horrified face*

MERLIN: It wasn't his fault!

WILL: You're sending them to their graves! When Kanen comes, you haven't got a chance.

ARTHUR: *horrified face*

Merlin goes off to have another go at Will and try to make him see that Arthur is a good guy.

MERLIN: Join us, Will! You can't abandon us all just cause you're pissed that I found another guy! It's pretty petty of you!

WILL: All you have to do is use your hocus pocus and you can end this, Merlin!

MERLIN: I can't.

Merlin goes to see Arthur (boy, he does a lot of flitting back and forth in this episode, like a hummingbird!)

MERLIN: You have to understand, my ex boyfriend's father was killed fighting for King Cendred. That's why he can't stand royalty. It's got nothing at all to do with the fact that you and I have gotten chummy.

ARTHUR: Do you think the villagers believed him?

MERLIN: Nah...he's always been a troublemaker. *with a cheeky smile on his face, so obviously remembering the time Will persuaded him to go skinny dipping with him*

ARTHUR: Face it, Merlin, we're screwed.

MERLIN: No we're not.

ARTHUR: Yes we are.

MERLIN: No, we're not!

ARTHUR: How do you know?

MERLIN: ...I just do. My spider senses are tingling?

So, Arthur is now giving the villagers another pep talk. He's pretty damn good at them, so obviously took an Inspiring Speeches 101 class as part of his preparation for becoming king.

ARTHUR: The women and children should go to the woods.

GWEN: Screw that! We ain't going nowhere, mister!

ARTHUR: I know you want to help, but women can't stay here, it's too dangerous.

GWEN: Could you be any more patronising? The women have as much right to fight as the men do! Just cause we don't have a dangly thing! Honestly!

*the women step forward, proving their point*

ARTHUR: *just got owned* ...fine, whatever. This is your home. If you want to fight to defend it, that's your choice. He fights only to kill, which is why he will never defeat us. You fight for your homes, your family, your friends. If you fall, you fall fighting for the noblest of causes...

MERLIN: Gee, Arthur, did you get this off the back of a beer mat or something? It's so cheesy...

ARTHUR: *finishes speech and raises sword* For Camelot, uh I mean, Ealdor!

EVERYONE ELSE: For Ealdor!

WILL: *rolls eyes and leaves* (he really does spend most of this episode being a difficult brat, doesn't he? So similar to Arthur, you'd think they'd get along better...)

So, Merlin gets home, and his mother tells him she knows what he's going to do. He says something much more moving than Arthur's speech.

MERLIN: If it comes to a choice, between saving people's lives, and revealing who I really am...there is no choice. Maybe it's meant to be this way. And if Arthur doesn't...accept me, for who I really am...then, he's not the friend I hoped he was.

(altogether now – aw, Merlin! That's so sweet!)

Okay, after about 28 minutes and 11 seconds of solid Merlin/Arthur hinting, the writers decide to give us a brief Arthur/Gwen scene, obviously showing us which pairing they really prefer. But it's nothing sweet. Oh no, Arthur's fighting to save this village, and Gwen decides to lecture him about not eating his food. Yeah, like that really matters. Honestly, stupid Gwen *mutters*

GWEN: Hunith made you some food.

ARTHUR: Thanks. I think.

GWEN: You know, food is scarce for these people, you shouldn't turn your nose up at it.

ARTHUR: Give it to them then. I should have to listened to you about the women fighting though. We'll need all the help we can get.

GWEN: We'll be fine. I have faith in you.

Now it's time for my favourite scene of the whole episode!!!!

Merlin and Arthur are putting on armour, ready for the battle ahead. Arthur puts his on easily, and seeing Merlin still struggling with his (bless him), yanks his arm over and fastens the arm gauntlet thingy for him. It would be quite a big sisterly action, if it weren't for the chemistry zinging in the quiet air of the little house/hut.

ARTHUR: Are you ready?

MERLIN: My throat's dry. (now clearing angling for Arthur to kiss him and moisten it a little for him) ...Whatever happens out there today...please don't think any differently of me.

ARTHUR: O...kay? What is it? If you've got something to say, now's the time to say it.

*audiences all over collectively hold their breath*

ARTHUR: *adorable eyebrow raise*

MERLIN: *opens mouth*

MORGANA: *walking in* Arthur. They've crossed the river.

AUDIENCE: Damn you Morgana! Couldn't you have waited 30 more seconds? We were about to get a love confession, or at least a confession of some kind!

And so, the fighting ensues, though Merlin's help is needed to start the fire for the trap, and he uses magic, being a lazy boy and whatnot. Though he does dodge those bullets pretty well...maybe he really is Spiderman...

Morgana kicks ass at sword fighting, and Gwen gets by with a wooden pole. Like the moron he is, Merlin turns his back for too long and nearly gets maced though Will saves him. Fighting goes into a slow mo, and Merlin realises there are too many, and employs some wind to help "blow away the bad guys". No, I'm not joking. Still, it works at least. And Merlin's hair looks hot slightly windblown. Gwen and Morgana have a happy "we did it" hug. And Kanen and Arthur duke it out. Arthur lands a critical blow, and Kanen quite unconvincingly falls to the floor.

ARTHUR: Who did that?

MERLIN: What?

ARTHUR: Wind like that doesn't appear from nowhere. I may be blonde and handsome, but I'm not stupid. One of you two did it.

WILL: Look out! *steps in front of Arthur and takes an arrow that Kanen had just aimed at Arthur before he fell back and died*

MERLIN: Will! *runs to ex boyfriend*

ARTHUR: You saved my life.

WILL: Well, duh. You are a bit stupid, aren't you?

Okay, now the next scene has to be the most heartbreaking – in short, Will lies and says he used the magic, knowing he "won't be alive long enough for anyone to do anything to me". Arthur leaves the two alone, and Merlin begins crying as he strokes Will's hair. I wonder if the writers didn't know how to write Arthur seeing Merlin cry, and this is why they did this?

WILL: *dies*

MERLIN: *cries*

AUDIENCE:

At the burning of Will's body, Arthur is an insensitive prat!

ARTHUR: You knew he was a sorcerer didn't you? You shouldn't have kept this from me Merlin.

MERLIN: I'm kind of mourning my best friend here, can we come back to this later, please?

ARTHUR: *walks away*

HUNITH: *walks over* You'd better be going.

MERLIN: Arthur was mean to me. Can't I stay with you, Mummy?

HUNITH: You belong at Arthur's side.

MERLIN: I'll just, give you the slash dragon's number now, shall I?

HUNITH: You're like two sides of the same coin.

MERLIN: Okay, now you're just totally ripping him off. But I'm going to miss you.

*tender hug moment*

The four ride off gaily into a field...


End file.
